she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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