Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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