No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
