she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
if i can run in heels then i can drive
I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
