If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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