it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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