just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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