glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
