i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
