no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
