She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
