Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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