Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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