i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
