p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
