I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
