i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
