I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
