I'm sorry my penis didn't work
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
