Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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