I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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