went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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