soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
