super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
