This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Randomize
