If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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