i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
handjob tips. give me some.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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