he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I just found puke in my bra..
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
