Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
