Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
