well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
