You're a womanizer and a bitch.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
