I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Randomize
