My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
