I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
