i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
