Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Randomize
