I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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