i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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