U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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