i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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