This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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