is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
We smell like vodka and hangover
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