..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
