is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
What did we do last night that was yellow?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
