she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
