I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
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