Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
