If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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