That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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