i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
