the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
