I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
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